today i startec prozac and well. okay its been a day but wow. my inner monologue, she's been really quiet. i woke up and I almost didn't want to come home for the weekend, but i already bought my train ticket. my head kind of feels less full. i tried to get sad but like it didnt work and that freaked me out. i started thinking about my neighbors being loud and the thought just went away. it didn't feel sticky like stuck to my brain anymore. i am wondering if i will feel like even better soon. I ALSO FEEL SUPER HUNGRY uh oh. i ate my entire lunch today. breakfast lunch dinner. that hasn't happened in a whlie..
THE PROZAC ISNT LETTING ME CRY I"M SO UPSET i ijhugytfrdeg4swedrytfygjhiguxsdik,sdjumxjk,xjm c ijw am going to bang my head against a wall
it is 11pm the prozac is wearing off and i had my first suicidal thoughts of the day today
i am going to give up and kill myslef
i feel like i am gettin g stabbed
[10/12/25] okay so. i spent the first two hours of my morning worrying. i was really fixated and i had a really sticky thought. i didnt like, fall apart or feel it in my soul like i feel like i usualy do but my thoughts even though they're more quiet now they can still make it out of my mouth like. i dont know how to describe it. i talk before i can think the thought. my mouth is the thinker now. i am also worrying a lot about the future. i guess i am like every other 20 year old lmao. i guess when i look back on being 20 yeah maybe some things would suck like loud neighors but like wow. where i am now. i am really lucky. i can be really happy. i need to let myself be happy.
i am still having suicidal thoughts but not as many and when i think them i can kind of be like oh hmmmm maybe i shouldnt think that.
well okay